Believe in yourself

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I was sitting having my breakfast in the Beverly Hilton in L.A this morning and I had to stop and take in the moment. I’m here to be a guest at the GLAAD Awards. Me, little old me, a guest at the GLAAD Awards. When I left my husband 2 years ago, there were a lot of unkind people talking behind my back joking about how ridiculous it was that I’d left him. That it was the biggest mistake I could make in my life, as if he was the only good thing I had. To them it was laughable that I was training to be an actress, never mind getting to LA. For a while I believed them. I thought I was chasing a dream. A wish that would stay where it belonged, in dreamland. But sitting here today, I know that you can make whatever you want happen. I may not be a famous actress yet, I might never be one, but I’m learning how to do it and loving the experience. I may not yet be a revered writer, but every day that I write I get a little better. I may not be a credited documentary film maker, but every interview we film, I take a step towards producing something bigger than me. Something better than me and hopefully something that will help other people. Sitting here today I am already living my dream.

Just two years ago, I was deeply unhappy with my life, I’d sit on my sofa at home and I’d cry helplessly. I think I cried everyday for over 2 months before I mustered up the courage to go online and apply to audition for the acting course that became the catalyst that changed my whole life.

All it took was a little faith in myself, giving a little push, feeding that tiny part of me that hoped I could be good enough. Trust me, if you have a dream, something deep down inside you, that you burn to do, a feeling that you can’t shake. You are MADE to do that. You can do anything you want. It just takes time and hard work.

Maybe one day I’ll be sat at the same breakfast table I was this morning having a meeting about turning one of my books into a movie, or maybe I’ll be talking to someone about a role in a movie, or maybe I will have fallen in love and I’ll just be here on holiday. Either way, I’m so grateful to everyone that has supported me and given me opportunities to learn. Also, thank you to all those out there who did doubt me and still do. You’ve helped me when it’s been tough, not to give up. Your criticisms’ push me forward and make me work harder.

The only difference between me and the people doing what I want to do in life is they’ve already been brave, they’ve already done the hard work, they’ve already pushed through the times they haven’t felt good enough. Well, I want to get there and the only way to get to those places is to try. So believe in yourself and give it a go. Worst case scenario, you’ll learn something and isn’t that what life is all about?

 

 

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One thought on “Believe in yourself

  1. zoe says:

    Well said Jana! 🙂 Anything in life is possible if we’re open to it. To quote Buddha, ‘your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.’ It seems that you are doing just that – you are starting through hard work, going through the tears and difficult times etc to find the world which is right for you and you are starting to put your whole heart in to it. There’s nothing better. Long may this happiness continue and I hope that your dreams come true.

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