Let’s talk about Sex …. ahhh no, sorry, I can’t!


Sexuality is so powerful. It’s something we all have but not all of us know how to use it or are comfortable with it.  I think I’m still a bit scared of my sexuality and how pervy I can be. Sometimes I catch myself thinking something and I gross myself out, nothing really weird but for the ex- Roman Catholic convent boarding schooled divorced, cliched lezzer that I now am, I give it a good go!

I’ve seen girls who walk around literally dripping sex, you know the ones slow the world down and manage to make everything look sexy… I mean EVERYTHING, it’s weird. I’ve also seen the opposite, the girl who hides so far back in herself, you find it hard to make out whether you should shake her hand or just awkwardly wave hello because you don’t want to scare her with a kiss on the cheek. I know that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, and how people look/come across might not be how they really are. But why do some have it and others don’t? Where does it even come from?

With men, I see things really differently. Usually I see male sexuality in a predatory aggressive way, which is really not really a fair judgement on men because I know not every man is a predator and I’ve also had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of some aggressive butch lady loving attentions and that’s just as bad. I wonder if it’s just because I’m just a total lezzer and the thought of doing anything sexual with a man, if I’m being really honest, kind of creeps me out.

Anyway, I’m rambling! If sexuality is everywhere we look in the media why are so many of us afraid of our own sexuality and or other peoples’ and their expressions of it? Surely we should be able to be open about what we feel and not ashamed of it. After all most of the things we buy are sold using seductive sexually provocative adverts, why do we think it’s ok for brands to be overtly sexual yet we can’t?

Why do we condemn and shame people who are open and honest about their sexuality? Just because someone likes sniffing a shoe, does that make them bad? How many people have you heard say “urgh, she’s just so crude or so slutty” or “I just would NEVER do that!” or worse “God, why would she talk about that, I’d be so embarrassed?” I bet those people also change the channel when a tampon ad comes on in-between watching an HBO series filled with incest and porn!

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say I think it’s, whether you’re a crazy weirdo perv, a lezzer or totally celibate it doesn’t matter, you should feel confident enough to be open about it. Maybe if we all talk about our sexuality enough we’ll bore each other into not giving a shit and then we can all live in perfect harmony….. la la la laaaa

By the way in case you are wondering I soooo watch  True Blood (aka horror porn) and Game of Thrones! Love a bit of HBO. This is really one massive self indulgent note to self…. although I’m getting better because if you come over to mine now, I promise I won’t change the channel when the tampon ad comes on!


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One thought on “Let’s talk about Sex …. ahhh no, sorry, I can’t!

  1. zoe says:

    It’s funny my ex and I were talking about this the other day. I think we agreed that sexual confidence is attractive. It’s nice if someone knows what they want and isn’t afraid to show it. I think from my perspective a) being gay and b) having male friends has made it easier to open up about sexuality – it seems natural.. I’m aware that for some people it just isn’t. I think where I draw the line is having sexuality thrust upon me when perhaps I’m not in the mood to see it or hear about it. (In example the other week travelling on a crowded train into London and having a couple literally on top of me kissing loudly first thing in the morning!) I’ve had girlfriends for whom it has all been about sex and in a relationship there has to be so much more. Someone who lives for sex or is totally uninterested are not a turn on for me. Someone with a loving and open heart who is confident in their sexuality is very attractive imo. The thing though is that we are all different and all like different things. I think sometimes people are scared to be too open through fear of repercussions. When you wear your emotions/thoughts/feelings on your sleeve, it does make you more vulnerable to the comments such as you described. Also, it’s good sometimes to keep that little bit back, to create an enigma about you that draws people in 🙂 One of my friends once said to me that if it’s all talk, there’s nothing going on in the bedroom…

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