Moving on

So around this time last year I was in LA and just couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunities surrounding me. I was focused on my acting and presenting career and overwhelmed by support from everyone around me.

One year on and looking back I managed to get most of my “To Do” list done:

1. A lead role in a feature film (tick)
2. Presenting the LGBT news (tick)
3. Finding a woman to settle down with (tick)
4. Finding a place to make home (tick)

The only thing that evaded my grasp was a budding career as a presenter and actor. A year ago I would have seen this as a failure but now I am, as much as I was last year, just grateful for everything around me.

It’s amazing what you can get done and how many people you can find in the world that will support you, even if you make mistakes. Now I’m more focused on building a career doing a bunch of different things so I can support myself and my girlfriend as we continue to build on what we have, which (to my surprise) has become far more important to me than a career as an actor or presenter.

The glue that has been consistent, relentless (at times) and held me together throughout my journey has been my friends and family. No matter how big or crazy my ideas, they have had my back and always believed in me. I’ve finally learnt that the power your friends and family bring to you far outways anyone in any industry telling you you’ll do well or giving you a job.

Life isn’t about seeking others approval or getting affirmation from thousands of people you’ll never meet (which I used to feel would make me feel happy) but following your own path, taking care of those around you and always setting yourself goals and pursuing your dreams, no matter how crazy or how many times they change.

If you let yourself believe you can do it you can and you might be surprised by how much strength and support you have sitting quietly next to you.

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The Agenda!

Unknown-1I’m really trying to understand what the big hoopla is with being gay and why some are so threatened by it? Doing a little research I came across this lady, Linda Harvey .

Linda Harvey is the head of Mission America and seems to spend most of her time preaching about the problems with the homosexual agenda. I wasn’t aware we had one, but hey, maybe because I came out late I missed the induction! What exactly would that be like, an induction to THE GAY AGENDA?

In my mind, it would be hosted in a giant colosseum filled to the brim with LGBTQ people cheering and waving flags. The induction would happen a little like this; your name would be called out, you’d step forward onto the stage (picture the Hunger Games) and choose from a display of symbols that represent your orientation and personality. Then a booming voice would declare your mission; “Welcome to GAY LAND. You’ve already shown outstanding bravery by arriving at this point, your homosexual agenda from this point forward is to live your life to the full, to be kind and show compassion to those around you and to learn as much as you can. Go forth and complete your mission in your own way. Or something along those lines, so quiet, understated, cheesy AS, and no fun at all!

I think Linda’s idea would be more along the lines of, a dark satanic ritual with all manor of debauchery and the announcement of your agenda would be to corrupt as many children as possible and turn everyone on this planet gay. (But that’s just from reading her articles so I’m not sure what it really would be, i’d love to ask)

Fortunately neither of these ridiculous ideas exist in reality, although I do think that my version would make a great movie (giggle!).

One article that Linda wrote made me feel deep sadness and basically boggled my mind was her 12 ways Homosexual Adults Endanger Children . I believe that Linda should be able to voice her opinion, she should be able to say how she feels and defend her religion. However I still don’t understand why it’s so important for her to actively try to stop homosexuals from being treated as equal and campaign against it.

I used to be passionate about religion. I used to pray to God and “do what I was told”, now I listen to how I feel, what’s right for my friends and family and what’s right for me. It’s not just about one person. It’s about all of us working together to understand one another and sometimes we have to agree to disagree, but we don’t have to actively try to stop one another from living our lives. I’d love to meet Linda and speak to her so I can understand her better because I still can’t get my head around how she has come to some of her conclusions.

I wouldn’t want to set up a campaign to quash her ideas or her agenda, I don’t want to discredit her or her opinions, only to understand them better and possibly offer a different view on what it means/is to be a homosexual.

I’m pretty sure I could still get a long with her even though our views are so opposing.

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Why is being Gay such a threat to the Catholic Church?

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So praying not to be gay when I was young didn’t really work. Lying to myself, friends and family didn’t work, marrying a man didn’t work, the only thing that did work was being honest with myself and the world. And that wasn’t easy. It’s not like I wanted to be gay.

Reading the articles about the Catholic Church and it’s position on LGBT rights in Northern Ireland I can’t help but feel sad. I was a great little Catholic. I went to church every week, I prayed every night, I went to confession, I read bidding prayers at mass, I visited the nuns, I prayed before I played sport to ask for God to help me do well when my parents came to watch (my cheeky selfish prayer!). But none of that matters now, my faith has dissipated along with my tolerance for its discrimination and contradiction.

Why is the church so hell bent on protecting people who follow its teachings and want to discriminate? Surely they should be protecting those who follow its teachings and want to be kind to others regardless of belief and spread the good word of the Lord, or something along those lines? Not every Catholic wants to stomp out the LGBT community, do they?

I was taught as a child and throughout my 8 years in an all girls Roman Catholic Convent boarding school that tolerance and kindness were key elements of how we were supposed to live as Catholics. My Bible knowledge is a bit rusty now, but I’m pretty sure that Jesus went around healing sick people suffering from leprosy and feeding the hungry, encouraging the inclusion of those excluded not the other way around.

Considering 1 in 50 priests are found to have molested a child you would have thought the Church could focus on wiping that out, surely that is causing more damage in the world than same sex couples who love each other?

I’m not saying they have to support us or even agree with our lifestyle, but taking away our right to be treated as equal human beings is just insane.

I simply do not understand why you can discriminate against someone because of their sexuality. Isn’t that exactly the same as being racist? Why is it even being considered?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Shove OFF!

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It seems 2015 is making me feel a bit more defensive than usual, or maybe I’m just paying more attention. After being deflated by a little homophobia recently, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and went out to Dalston Super Store for a lesbian night called Club Lesley, which all London bound lesbians have to go to. Anyway, I digress!

Club Lesley was, and always is, awesome fun. Surrounded by lots of friends and other lesbians, it’s something I hadn’t done for a while and I was loving it. After a few hours my girlfriend and I were all danced out so we headed to get an Uber home. While waiting for the driver we cuddled on the street and kissed.  Naughty! I hear you, and no we weren’t “going for it” just a nice kiss, more than a peck, less than tongues down throats. I’m not a big fan of gratuitous displayed of affection, but each to their own.

Anyway, I digress again! So as we were cuddling/making out and guy walked past, takes his phone out and tried to take a photo. Not subtly either, more of a oh look the circus is in town, isn’t that a big elephant kind of thing – with his mouth wide open.  My girlfriend saw him first, then she saw red, the next thing I knew she was shoving him across the street. I mean SHOVING him.

At this point the man looked like he’d pooped his little panties, his penis obviously shrivelled back up into his body, along with what I can imagine to be two tiny little testies and he ran away. Obviously that wasn’t the reaction he’d imagined. I think he was expecting us to put on a show for him, like we’d enjoy his interest in us, like we should have been flattered, because obviously all lesbians are there just to entertain his fantasies.

This man made me angry. ANGRY. If I see two people making out (gratuitously) I’m not a big fan of it so I simply don’t look, it’s my choice. If I see two people kissing and they look in love and happy, usually it will make me feel happy and i’ll smile and keep walking. I’d never, NEVER stop and take a photo. It’s my choice to kiss my girlfriend in public but I shouldn’t have to fear having my photo or a video taken by an idiot man (or women, although I’m yet to meet or see any women doing that).

If you want to take photo’s of that kind of thing get a job working in porn, there’s loads of women making out, pretending to enjoy it, rubbing furiously on each others clits with massive nails and it’s all for your pleasure, pervert with your phone out.  You go carry on your square existence somewhere else and get a girlfriend or boyfriend and be a pervert with them. Me and my girlfriend are not here for you. YOU MORON!

Also big up to my super hot girlfriend for shoving him back into his box! Isn’t she cute!

 

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I had the wind taken out of my sail

Recently I was on the tube on my way home and I was tired. The kind of tired that makes your head loll and eyes lids droop. There were no seats so I decided to use my girlfriends shoulder as a sort of head rest and subsequently put my arms around her to anchor myself from the rumbling sway of the Piccadilly line. Being a considerate person I looked behind me to check I wasn’t gong to step on any toes and as I looked around I saw a woman staring at me with evil disapproving eyes.

She started to kiss her teeth at me and shake her head. At first I couldn’t understand why, I thought, oh no, did I accidentally knock her? Was I being completely unaware of myself and did I do something wrong? Not knowing and giving her a little smile I turned back and lay my head down, only to hear more teeth kissing. This is when we both clocked on, she was kissing her teeth at us being “together”. We looked at each other and laughed. I guess I laughed out of shock. Was this really happening? Was this lady making all this noise because we are two women who are together? We hadn’t kissed, we hadn’t touched  inappropriately, I simply held her and rested my head on her shoulder.

The two seats opposite this lady became free so we sat down. For the rest of our journey, we didn’t touch each other, in fact we changed our body language completely. We spoke quietly and tried to ignore the continued teeth kissing and homophobic mumbles. At one point she tried to rally the other people on the tube to join in her disapproval of us. One lady next to her did, I’m not sure she understood what she was joining in with, but she did join in and the man who I assume was with her of course did.

Thinking rationally I know that I will never see this lady again, that she isn’t important in my life and her opinion isn’t something I should take on board or personally and it wasn’t that bad, but it was just so nasty and so mean, it simply took the wind out of my sail. I was comfy and (God forbid) happy nestled in the shoulder of a lovely woman and this other lady ruined it. (Women being mean to women really annoys me but that’s another blog!)

It’s amazing the power people have when they shamelessly project their distain for who you are. I can’t change that I’m gay, I try to behave appropriately in public, I don’t like to cause a scene and unless I’m incredibly drunk, I pretty much stick to holding hands and a quick peck on the lips – oh and the ever so offensive shoulder leaning!

I’m not sure I even have a point, accept that it hurts, homophobia hurts and it’s so unnecessary in this world. I would never harm another person (knowingly). I don’t even want to change that woman’s mind, her opinion is her opinion and she’s entitled to not agree with the way I live my life, I don’t particularly agree with how she displays her emotions. I guess I just wish she’d kept it to herself. You don’t have to agree with who I am or what I think as long as you don’t actively try to stop me being who I am. Which was precisely what this lady was trying to do. Stop me being me.

People suffer from really bad cases of homophobia all around the world, this was just a little taste of it. I shouldn’t feel lucky to live in a city where I am tolerated and only experience small bursts of homophobia. I should be accepted wherever I am, we all should. I am a human being, no better and no worse than anyone else on this planet.

So boo you, the lady who thinks I shouldn’t be here, I am here and me and my gay aren’t going anywhere!

 

 

 

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Don’t Be So Ridiculous!

Over the past few months I’ve been dong a lot of thinking and filming and I have to apologise for being completely MIA.

I’ve finally come to a decision and every week I’ll be releasing a short video of things I see in the media that I think are ridiculous and I’ll also be interviewing women who i think are really inspiring.

So far I have interviews with Carmen Vandenburg, the leading female guitarist in the UK! Nanou Blair-Gould, a young writer that’s just finished university and Eden Clark a lesbian Supermodel who gave it all up to be a support worker.

Check out my channel and please subscribe if you want to see more!

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Don’t be such a Lesbian!!

Check out my new short film – Don’t be such a lesbian!

 

 

or at http://www.dbsatv.com

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